"The Kid that Nobody Could Handle", Kurt Vonnegut

While I was reading those Kurt Vonnegut quotes and listening to interview with him, I learnt that he was a great supporter of (public) schools. He could have written the episode of "The West Wing" episode that I often rip off when talking about schools:

"Schools should be palaces. The competition for the best teachers should be fierce. They should be making six-figure salaries. Schools should be incredibly expensive for government and absolutely free of charge to its citizens, just like national defence." "The West Wing", S1, E8: "Enemies"

I don't know why I felt the thrill of surprise when I read Vonnegut's thoughts on schooling. It should have been obvious to me, having read "The Kid That Nobody Could Handle". This is one of the stories I read last summer while on a Vonnegut kick. It had me weeping hugely on the Commuter train.

"If you smashed up all the schools," said Helmholtz, "we wouldn't have any hope left."
"What hope?" said Jim.
"The hope that everybody will be glad he's alive," said Helmholtz. "Even you." "The Kid Nobody Could Handle", "Welcome to the Monkey House", p. 278

More...

"Think of it this way," said Helmholtz [to his band]. "Our aim is to make the world more beautiful than it was when we came into it. It can be done. You can do it."
A small cry of despair come from Jim Donnini. It was meant to be private, but it pierced every ear with its poignancy.
"How?" said Jim.
"Love yourself," said Helmholtz, "and make your instrument sing about it. A-one, a-two, a-three." Down came his baton. "The Kid Nobody Could Handle", "Welcome to the Monkey House", p. 282-283

"Why'dja do that? What's that prove?"
"I--I don't know," said Helmholtz. A terrible blasphemy rumbled deem inside him, like a warning of a volcano. And then, irresistibly, out it came. "Life is no damn good," said Helmholtz. His face twisted as he fought back tears of shame. "The Kid Nobody Could Handle", "Welcome to the Monkey House", p. 282

Now Helmholtz saw the futility of men and their treasures. He had thought that his great treasure, the trumpet, could buy a soul for Jim. The trumpet was worthless. "The Kid Nobody Could Handle", "Welcome to the Monkey House", p. 281-282

Helmholtz, the mountain that walked like a man, was falling apart. Jim Donnini's eyes filled with pity and alarm. They came alive. They became human. Helmholtz had got a message through. Quinn looked at Jim, and something like hope flickered for the first time in his bitterly lonely face. "The Kid Nobody Could Handle", "Welcome to the Monkey House", p. 282

Oh Kurt.

Kurt Vonnegut makes my heart hurt

I'm finding Kurt Vonnegut quotes tonight, which always makes me want to pull out all my veins with terribly tugging pops, and reach in and remove organs by the handful.

"And now I want to tell you about my late Uncle Alex. He was my father’s kid brother, a childless graduate of Harvard who was an honest life insurance salesman in Indianapolis. He was well-read and wise. And his principal complaint about other human beings was that they so seldom noticed it when they were happy. So when we were drinking lemonade under an apple tree in the summer, say, and talking lazily about this and that, almost buzzing like honeybees, Uncle Alex would suddenly interrupt the agreeable blather to exclaim, 'If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.'

So I do the same now, and so do my kids and grandkids. And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.'

That’s one favor I’ve asked of you.

Now I’ve got another one, a show of hands. How many of you have had a teacher at any point in your entire education who made you happier to be alive, prouder to be alive than you had previously believed possible? Now please say the name of that teacher out loud to someone sitting or standing near you.

OK? All done? 'If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.'" Address at the University of Wisconsin at Madison, September 22, 2003

"How nice--to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive." "Breakfast of Champions"

"Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies— 'G-d damn it, you've got to be kind'." "G-d Bless you, Mr. Rosewater"

"Still and all, why bother? Here's my answer. Many people need desperately to receive this message: I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone."

"You guarantee that you are telling the truth by saying 'I give my word of honor that such and such is true'. I have never knowingly lied, having said first I give my word of honor. So I now give you my word of honor that it is a courageous and honorable and beautiful thing you have done to become college graduates.

I give you my word of honor that we love you and need you. We love you simply because you are of our species. You have been born. That is enough." Commencement Address, Southampton College, c. May 1981

"I apologize. I said I would apologize; I apologize now. I apologize because of the terrible mess the planet is in. But it has always been a mess. There have never been any ''Good Old Days,'' there have just been days. And as I say to my grandchildren, ''Don’t look at me. I just got here myself." Syracuse University

He's just beautiful and reminds me of my gram.

"And so it goes."

"After I was Thrown in the River and Before I Drowned"

So, I've been thinking about what I want to write about and even though it's not the last thing I read, here we go:

"After I was Thrown in the River and Before I Drowned", Dave Eggers
A dog narrates a story about his life.

My sister showed me this story. She has only read it once.

I knew I wanted to talk about this short story. But I also knew I hadn't been drinking enough water to do so. To give you an idea. So this is a story told by Steve, a dog, who is a very fast runner. He runs all over his city/town, watching people. He has a park where he races his dog friends, and they try to jump two banks over a storm drain. Sometimes dogs get hurt there. Steve gets hurt there.

I suppose that I should say that we had to put my dog down about a year and a half ago, but I still miss her and love her, and I still feel like I've been punched in the chest when I talk about her.

I also feel punched in the chest when I talk about this story, because Eggers does a really excellent job of catching the "voice" of a dog. He, Steven, rambles and talks much too fast, gets distracted, sees too much, understands everything, and then is off again in a flash. The use of short sentences is superb. There is such simplicity and clarity of emotion in them.

First lines

OH I'M A FAST DOG. I'm fast- fast. It's true and I love being fast I admit It I love it. You know fast dogs. Dogs that just run by and you say, Damn! That's a fast dog! Well that's me. A fast dog. I'm a fast- fast dog. Hoooooooo! Hooooooooooooo!

My dog was part greyhound, and this is how she ran, tongue falling out of her mouth, eyes crazy, terrifyingly fast, and turning "like there wasn't even a turn". She'd run like she was going to bowl you over, but bank at the last second.

Last lines

Everyone in the life before was cranky, I think, because they just wanted to know.

Oddly-- no, that's not right: perfectly--, the fast dog talk reminds me of my sister's best friend, my roommate, almost as much as it reminds me of my dog. She came home while I was thinking about this story, and I explained that I had read it, and that's why I was crying and blowing my nose. She scrunched her face up and said that she doesn't know why it makes my sister and I cry-- it makes her happy. This is why she is the dog.

I see in the windows. I see what happens. I see the calm held-together moments and also the treachery and I run and run. You tell me it matters, what they all say. I have listened and long ago I stopped. Just tell me it matters and I will listen to you and I will want to be convinced. You tell me that what is said is making a difference that those words are worthwhile words and mean something. I see what happens. I live with people who are German. They collect steins. They are good people. Their son is dead. I see what happens.

Damn, I'm so in love with all of this.

You just cannot know.

my claws grabbing at the earth like I'm the one making it turn.

They're slow but they are perfect things, almost perfect.

When I see them I want to be in love with all of them at once. I want us all to be together; I feel so good to be near them.

We have to feel strong to make it.

I feel good. My eyes feel good, like I will see everything before I have to. I see colors like you hear jet planes.

You should do this sometime. I am a rocket.

I want deeply for these twins

After I died, so many things happened that I did not expect.

I wanted him to be happy. I wanted the squirrels to jump and be happy as we dogs were. But they were different than we were, and the man who threw me to the river was also different. I thought we were all the same but as I was inside my dead body and looking into the murky river bottom I knew that some are wanting to run and some are afraid to run and maybe they are broken and are angry for it.

The one big surprise is that as it turns out. G-d is the sun. It makes sense, if you think about it. Why we didn’t see it sooner I cannot say. Every day the sun was right there burning, our and other planets hovering around it, always apologizing, and we didn't think it was G-d. Why would there be a G-d and also a sun? Of course G-d is the sun.

Introduction

"You know you've read a good book when you turn the last page and feel a little as if you have lost a friend." Paul Sweeney

"What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it." J.D. Salinger, "The Catcher in the Rye"

"Medicine for the soul." The inscription over the door of the Library at Thebes

Wellll...

I'm an English Lit. major, and am going to teach, but, more to the point, I really enjoy reading. I can't understand people who have never fallen in love with a book, stayed up desperate and thirsty to find out how it ends, but also dreading it, each page turned a count down to losing something of terrific importance. I've under understood people who claim not to have the attention span for a book. How can you not have the attention to be a Phillie or philanderer-- or philanthropist, if that's more your flavour? All the same, I'm often disappointed with myself and with how little I read these days. I've started doing something else I've never been able to understand before: falling asleep when reading, not because the book is laid out on my chest like the hand of a lover but because if I don't sleep now I might actually vomit. I'm annoyed with myself, and I need to change that.

So I want to keep track of what I'm reading now, and talk about the books that I have read that were excellent enough to leave me aggrieved.